I LOVE JESSIE RAE BOND

AND FANTASTIC!

Thursday:

Treadmill : 3 Miles : 240 Calories

Bike : 8 Miles : 200 Calories

Sit Ups : 120

Friday:

Treadmill : 1 Mile : 70 Calories

Bike : 18 Miles : 410 Calories

Sit Ups : 120

Saturday (Morning Work Out):

Treadmill : 0 Miles : 0 Calories

Bike : 6 Miles : 120 Calories

Sunday:

Treadmill : 1 Mile : 90 Calories

Bike : 18 Miles : 355 Calories

Monday isn't going anywhere.. started my period today, feel like crap, and on top of it I start my new job tonight. Hoorah... Anyway, more excersize tomorrow (unless I'm working) So, my goal is not taking a back burner, just on hold for today! Wish me luck with all my skinny and work endeavors.

Tuesday:

Treadmill : 1 Miles : 170 Calories

Bike : 10 Miles : 220 Calories

Sit Ups : 300

Running Total:

Treadmill : 5 Miles : 570 Calories

Bike : 50 Miles : 1305 Calories

Total : 55 Miles : 1875 Calories

So far, so good!

Due to the VERY depressing fact that I did not get my financial aid due to an error in my FAFSA paperwork I had to take the first semester off of college. It was by far the worst few weeks of my life following, I was so depressed about not being able to jump into my dreams. However, on a brighter note I found out that there was an alternative to being in classes. I could study online and take tests to get past classes that are mandatory but not really important. So for the past month or so I've been studying my ass of to take care of those test (which, by the way, I can take up to 30 credits worth!) Thats an entire year for anybody not in college! Other than studying and feeling worthless I got a job (after applying at 10 different places) It pays shit and is a shit job, but hey, it's a job! Also I have been putting my art online at deviant art. My site is www.lolita505.deviantart.com It is alot of fun to recieve criticism and comments on my art, esspecially because I feel as though it is such a big part of who I am.

On the exciting front I got a call fro Barbizon for the first time in years and they told me about an audition, so I headed down to Aurora and auditioned (I sang and did a cold read) I got rated a ten and they asked me to join their company and come to California in January to a convention where 400 different agents would be searching out new talent (People like Ashton Kutcher were found at the very convention) Unfortunately there is no way I could afford it, and again my goals took a back seat to finances, which is most of the reason I have been so obsessed with finding a job, no matter where it was. I feel so lost alot of the time when I think about options people with money have, where as people like me can't even afford to go to college or pursue their dreams. I really haven't been down about it though, I have been excersizing my ass off trying to get in shape and get a job to start saving money so that next year I can do things like audition for whatever I want and go wherever I want! I hate Colorado, not the people or the state.. but the lack of commotion. I need more than this and it's obvious!

My brother Brian got accepted for a program with Ratheon, which means he's going to Antarctica for 13 months! He leaves in 2 weeks, but next week will be in Philidelphia all next week for training. He completely quit doing drugs and is really on the right path. I'm very proud of him, not to mention excited because he'll make more than 30,000 dollarsand I'm allready on the list to be paid back! As soon as I get the money I loaned him I am planning on getting insurance and I want to start driving again. I don't even know if I'm scared of it anymore, it's just not an option again, because of money. I honestly hate money, it really makes or breaks the quality of life in alot of situations. Carmen has moved out and is living with her boyfriend Ryan, and is also student teaching which makes her crazy because she doesn't get paid. But, come January she'll be a full time teacher and will get paid! Jason is god knoas where doing god knows what! I really have NO idea.

I moves as well (not sure if I've posted about that) I am living off of Timberline in a two bedroom apartment with my mom. It's really nice and since there are two master bedrooms I haven't lost any of my space. But Brian isn't living with us and Carmen isn't and we have no more bedrooms even if they wanted too! Hooray! Sometimes I think I'm doing great, everything is on track to be amazing and I'm looking forward to it getting that way! Matt and I are still dating but have been spending less time together. I still want to be dating him, but I know I need space to grow, not to mention I may be moving away from colorado in May (we only signed into a 9 month lease) Who knows where we'll end up, my vote is for California. But obviously Matt would have to stay here. I have no idea what my furute brings, but I know I will be in shape and excited for whatever life leads me to!

For along time I was consumed (I assume because I had nothing else to do) with how highschool ended, on a terrible not really... But I know now that I can't change other people, and I don't want to change me. So this is who I am. I have been throgh more than alot of people, and am 100 percent a better person because of it. I have grown immensly and have let go of so many of the heavy baggage I tote around with me. My life path is riddled with obstacles, burdens, and unhappy circumstances, but I am happy :)

Nina/Nina-Bina/Nin/NuNu/Neen/Neener

P.S. I still cry at happy endings. And I learned to post pictures hopefully! This is me and my sister from a few months back. Hooray.



Also, I accidentally died my hair dark brown, almost a black color. But it's lame, I was tryig to go original hair color but I hate it either way. I'm dying it red just as soon as that would even begin to work. *Idiot*